August 4, 2008

Jayson will be home late tomorrow night. Probably more like early Wednesday morning. He gets released at about 4:00pm. I am looking forward to him coming home, but I am nervous at the same time because I know this is the last time I will get to see him for a long time. We had talked about having me drive him back to Kansas when it was time for him to leave so I could spend that last bit of time with him. Today he told me they are not recommending any family members come back with them because security will be tight, and we might not be able to see much of them anyway. The actual flight time and all that is a big secret, all they know is that they will fly out anywhere from 12 to 48 hours after they arrive back. This makes me sick to my stomach. I don't like not knowing. I don't like secrets. I guess I had better get used to the idea. I am sure there will be a lot of things I do not know, a lot of times where all I will be able to do is wonder where he is and how he is, and that will be very hard for me. For the past 17 years, Jayson and I have always been able to communicate whenever we needed to, always being able to be there for eachother whenever we needed eachother. It makes me sad to think that not only will he not be able to be here for me and the kids, but that I won't be able to be there for him either. I just need to make the most of this week we have together, then write lots of letters and take lots of pictures so I can include him as much as possible. For the past few months I have been sending him picture messages through the cell phones letting him know where we are and what we are up to. He loves getting those, and always tells me how much he appreciates it. It won't be as easy when we can't use the phones, but there is always email. It won't be instant, but at least we have that.

The kids start school on the 20th. It seems like it comes sooner every year. This is not my favorite time of year. In fact, when fall is coming, it just means winter is right around the corner, and I am very much a solar powered girl, and I tend to get a little SAD when school comes. I wish my kids could stay home and we could just play all year. But I guess it doesn't work that way! Rats. Morgan will be able to play football this year (he had a broken collar bone last season) so he is looking forward to that. And dance will be starting up for Regan real soon, then there are the guitar lessons...I will be keeping so busy that this year will probably just fly by! I need to make sure the video camera is out and used often, then I can put it all on DVD's and send the games and recitals and all that fun stuff to Jayson so he doesn't have to miss any of it.