This last week was emotionally difficult. Our beloved veterinarian, the wonderful man who took care of Jack when he was sick, and all of our other animals for the past several years that we have lived in this town, passed away. He will be terribly missed by so many people, and I was devastated to hear of his passing. Dr. Kerr was one of a kind, a person with amazing compassion and love for animals, and one of the best people I have had the pleasure of knowing. My heart is sad.
One of the men on Jayson's team was killed last week. This is heartbreaking as well, and hits very close to home. My heart goes out to his entire family, and I wish them peace and strength in the coming days, months, and years. I can't put into words the feelings of fear, sadness, and anger I have felt these past few days. I have been flooded with emotions from fear, to relief, then to sadness and guilt, then back to fear, and on to worry, and I am left exhausted. Today I had a hard time at work. I don't know why it all hit me like it did, but it hit me hard. I had to leave for a few hours just so I could go have a good cry, and try to get myself put back together. My mind was in such a bad place, and I felt like I had no control of my thoughts. Not a pleasant feeling. I guess I just needed some time to myself to let myself cry, and not have to be strong for anyone. After a few hours I was able to get back to work, and I am feeling okay now.
The kids and I have decided that we need to get away. We are planning on going to Casper for the weekend. We will stay at a hotel so the kids can swim. We will be away from our responsibilities, and hopefully have a fun relaxing weekend. My poor kids haven't had much fun since Jayson left. It seems like it has been all business since he left, and that isn't fair to them. This last week has just made me realize that I need to add some fun into our lives, and slow down every now and then to just appreciate and enjoy each other's company. Never let a day go by without letting those around you know how important they are to you.
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