Thursday, December 27, 2007

I recently found out that my husband will be going to serve in Afghanistan. He has been in the National Guard for the past 20 years. He has always said that it would just be a matter of time before he would have to go, and I guess he was right. Of course my job is to support him, stand beside him, and not let him know that this tears me up inside. He sees me as a "strong" person. He says he doesn't have to worry about anything when he is gone becasue he knows I can handle it. That is true, but there are times when I just want to fall to the floor, a pathetic pile of sobbing mush.

We have been married for 14 1/2 years. We have three children, our oldest now a teenager! (yikes) Their names are Morgan (13), Wyatt (10) and Regan (8). They each have their own very strong personalities and traits that make them the special people they are. Our oldest is mature, athletic, hardworking, and quiet, much like his father. Our second is typical "middle child"; rowdy, free spirited, messy, accident prone, and gold hearted, much like his mother. Our third is our daughter; a mixture of the above, and an angelic dream come true. We are blessed.

We live in a small town in Wyoming on 100 acres where we just built a new home. We have started raising cows, somewhat as a hobby which is quickly turning business. This is also becoming another passion of Morgan's, as he is the one hauling water and feed out to them daily, and loves the "cowboy" work. We have several pets, including a tarantula (Regan's!) a leopard gecko, a cockatiel, an English Mastiff, and a black lab. Oh, and a 75 gallon fish tank of fish. Life is good. Busy and chaotic, but good.

Things are going to change, and that is what life is all about, as they say. Jayson will be leaving for Afghanistan in May. Many have gone before him, and many will go after him. Many families have been through the emotions, heartaches, trials, and hardships of lengthy seperations, and have survived. Some have come out of it stronger, and unfortunately, others have lost each other along the way. I am afraid. I am afraid of losing Jayson. I am afraid of him being injured or worse. I am afraid of him coming home changed. I am afraid of what he might experience, and how that may effect our family in the future. I try not to think too much about it right now. After all, I have almost 5 months before I will be forced to face it. Right now, I feel strong. I know we will be okay.